Learning to 'Relax' and say 'NO' as a Freelancer

Hello and welcome,

I was planning on my next post to be a creative one, but so far these past few months have been incredibly hectic and August was the busiest month so far this year for me. I was already starting to feel the burn of overworking and keeping a busy lifestyle; I was catching all the bugs that were going around including a bout of flu and losing my voice but to top it all off I woke up one day with a massive painful stye on my eye. A stye is a swelling or lump on the eyelid which can be caused by bacteria also stress and sleep deprivation. I've had styes before always when my body is run down and I feel super stressed. Which is bang on how I was feeling and my body must be trying to tell me to rest and slow down. So I thought I would talk about how easy it is for a freelancer to become overwhelmed, over worked, run down and exhausted. As well as balancing being a freelancer and suffering with a chronic illness.

Busy Bee

August had turned out to be an extremely busy month for me both personally and professionally. There's no one reason to why this month has been crazy busy, we all get one of those weeks/months where it is relentlessly busy, and this month is mine. There has been numerous amounts of birthdays, weddings, baby showers to fit in around busy schedules, tight deadlines, and additional hours covering holidays etc. This month has been none stop.

Image by Veronica Dearly

As a Freelancer work can come in sways, some months can be quite comfortable with a steady amount of work and time to 'have a life'. Other months work can be dried up with too much personal time and not enough money to go out and  'enjoy life'. Then theres months where everything builds up, and theres too much work that you're struggling to fit in and theres no time for a life at all. As work can have its peaks and troughs when it does gets busy you kind of feel you have to go with it and keep accepting work as the next week/month there might not be any work at all. That fear leads you to say 'yes' to work when you really shouldn't as you are already overworked. So saying 'no' becomes really hard as a Freelancer.

Image by Veronica Dearly

Saying NO is hard for anyone I guess. You feel bad to let someone down. That by saying no might make you look bad; that you might look rude and disinterested and they may not ask or what to work with you again in future. You also can feel like if you say no you might miss out on an amazing opportunity that you will regret forever. Also by saying no, you're saying no to money, which is hard but unfortunately money rules how we live, so the offer of money is difficult to decline also.

Its ok to say no

Image by Stacie Swift 

I found this image by Stacie Swift on the Freelancing Females Instagram account, (which is an amazing account to follow if you're a freelancer or creative). After seeing this image I immediately screen shot it as inspiration. I struggle to say no so seeing this mind map was a little nugget of encouragement. Sometimes you have to say no, maybe because you're overworked, maybe because you are away on holiday, maybe because you don't feel like its a project you can get on board with, maybe its a too big a project or even too small a project for you, maybe you actually aren't skilled for that particular project, maybe they aren't offering enough money for the work. Whatever the maybe you are entitled to say no and decline work as technically we are our own bosses so can pick and choose when we work and who we work with. The reactions from saying no can vary from client to client, some will understand and try organise a time better for you or get back to you in future with another project, some won't reply back at all, some will take it personally and some wont take no for an answer.

Image by Morgan Harper Nichols

 Know your limits

As my current situation shows I am now feeling completely run down and exhausted trying to juggle numerous work projects as well as balance it out with having a life, things get to the point where you have to say no. As clearly my body to trying to tell me to slow down. Living with a chronic illness like endometriosis you kind of need to learn to know your limits, to understand your body and what you can and can't do. Although I am aware of my condition and the impact it has had on my both my personal and professional life, it is hard realising the extent and limitations its causes. At times its hard to readjust your thinking as you used to be able to do things and you forget that maybe you can't do those things now. Where before you would automatically do something, i.e. lift and move my sewing machine - now if I attempt too I physically struggle, my pelvis is weakened as my body hasn't fully healed from surgery so something as simple as moving my machine into position can have a serious consequence. So learning to understand your body is critical as you don't want to put your healing into regression. Rest and down time is so important for chronic illness sufferers as we really need to let our bodies relax.

Image by Nikki Miles

Don't feel guilty, You can't do everything

Since my surgery and return to work I have tried to be gentler on myself, to not over do it and know my limitations (no heavy lifting, or continuous bending, no commuting long distances etc) though obviously I haven't been doing quite as well these past few months. Learning to accept that you can't do everything is very difficult and can make you feel incompetent. But you need to put yourself and your health first. Overworking yourself into a rut is no good for anyone so take that weekend off to relax and then you can tackle Monday with a fresher more positive self. Try and find that balance of work/rest is key. Learning to take that rest time and not feel guilty about it is hard at first but pivotal for your overall wellbeing. Sometimes just surviving the day is an achievement in itself. Try not to feel guilty for turning work down if you actually can't do it. Putting added pressure on yourself isn't going to make the situation better, ask yourself "would I expect this much off a colleague?" and "would you put that much pressure onto someone else?" The answer is probably no, and if someone else was in a similar circumstance to me I would say "to try not to be so harsh on yourself, work isn't everything. Take it easy and look after yourself".

Image by Nikki Miles

So September is here, and my stye has finally healed and I'm feeling much more human now. Work is still busy but in a gentler flow of consistency. Thankfully I have a lovely holiday planned for the end of the month for a well deserved break and rest bite after a busy summer schedule. I'm glad August has gone as it felt relentless but I have learnt that no matter how busy life gets I must take time to rest or my body will crash again.

An important tip for any freelancer is to try and plan work and life so you can organise your time. Obviously don't over plan your personal life, but I find it extremely helpful to go through your schedule/planner and note down any occasions that are coming up at the start of each month so I can be more prepared. You can then use that to plan days off, nights out, dates and trips etc. and its something to look forward too if you do have a busy ole month ahead.

I hope this ramble is help to anyone out there who is either a freelancer or chronic illness sufferer or maybe both, and that people can relate to how that we can all get run down, put too much pressure on ourselves and say yes to people/things when we really don't want too. Lets all take a moment to remember to be kinder and gentler to ourselves. Wishing everyone a wonder week.

Clare X